Jennifer Coolidge sent us all on a mission. It’s not easy, but we would expect a mission from The White Lotus Just being Queen herself? Never.
Tanya (Coolidge) and her new husband Greg (Jon Gries) settle into the dreamy Italian island of Sicily for their first day. With steaming plates of pasta, enough champagne to fill the Nile-Mediterranean, and a beautiful coastline right in front of her, Greg asks Tanya what she wants to do on their first day together.
Tanya doesn’t just have a plan, she has a whole Italian fantasy prepared for her. Get this woman a job in travel planning. Of course, she can put together an itinerary in no time, because at breakfast Tanya goes through all the stuff.
“My dream day in Italy is: First, I want to look exactly like Monica Vitti,” she says. “Then this man comes over in a very slim suit and lights a cigarette for me. It tastes really good. Then he takes me on his Vespa.”
Good tasting cigarette, noticed. Not sure if these exist – what do cigarettes mean taste how? – but we will invent some for our girl Tanya. Greg isn’t so sure about the whole Vespa (driving in Italy, scary stuff), but Tanya throws herself back into her plan of what would happen after the ride.
“Then when the sun goes down we go down very close to the sea to one of these really romantic places,” she continues. “We drink a lot of aperitifs and eat big plates of pasta with giant clams. We’re just really chic and happy. We are beautiful.”
Sold. The music sparkles in the background as Tanya tenderly suggests they’ll be “chic and happy” and also “beautiful.” How cute. Forget the fact that “aperitifos” isn’t a word (there’s aperitif, the Italian word for an alcoholic drink before a meal, and aperitivo, aperitifs, and aperitifs)—this is a mood that’s headed for the New Year.
No, it’s not summer, and no, most of us aren’t staying at a luxury hotel off the coast of Sicily. But we need to turn Jennifer Coolidge’s Italian fantasy into a state of mind. Do you live in New York? Rent one of these Revel bikes and scooters in Little Italy with a man in a tight suit. He’ll offer you American liquor and guide you to one of those Italian-American spots on Mulberry Street – or, if you’re lucky, Olive Garden in Times Square.
The specificity of the day makes it more admirable: Tanya knows I agree what she wants. Scratch the Italian imagination. We should all plan our days like Tanya. Let’s not limit ourselves to Monica Vitti, ladies! Give us the Meg Ryan in a rom-com fantasy. Bring on the Vanessa Hudgens in a cheesy Netflix Christmas movie fantasy. And let’s not forget them Barbie Fantasy of Margot Robbie skating around LA in neon gear.
But back to Tanya and The White Lotus. Greg approves of the day, but there are some bumps in the road. For example, Tanya isn’t exactly Monica Vitti-esque; No, the hotel’s concierge, Valentina (Sabrina Impacciatore), thinks she’s more like Peppa Pig. Too much pink in the fit. Oh well! The couple embarks on a never-ending Vespa ride, with Tanya pinching Greg’s groin and coughing up a bug onto the curb. How romantic.
Of course, not everything is as it seems The White Lotus. Although Greg gives Tanya the dreamy day she’s been wanting, something isn’t right with him. He leaves Sicily early for a “work thing”. This can not be true! In addition to his professional harassment, Tanya catches Greg shouting “I love you” to someone else on the phone late one night. “She’s clueless, as always,” he says. WHAT’S HAPPENING?!
The creepiness of the motto “Happy Wife, Happy Life” seems to be the overarching theme of this episode. Not only does Greg indulge Tanya’s desires to fuel his own personal desires, but White Lotus couple Daphne (Meghann Fahy) and Cameron (Theo James) share the same beliefs. They never fight.
“What are you fighting about?” Daphne asks friendly couple Harper (Aubrey Plaza) and Ethan (Will Sharpe). Whenever she and Cameron think about fighting, Daphne admits, he just lets her be right. How bizarre. The power dynamics just keep getting weirder The White Lotusand will surely turn into complete chaos in the upcoming episodes.
The five guests most likely to die
We bet on who will die this season The White Lotus. After this episode, here are our top 5 picks of people who can become corpses in just a few episodes.
1. Gregory Hunt: Cheater! Tanya better shove him off that balcony where he’s always on the phone. He’s leaving, but if Greg wants to get out of the season alive, he’d better prove he can be faithful to Tanya. But if Jennifer Coolidge becomes a murdering wife… that wouldn’t be so bad, would it?
2. Dominic Di Grasso: This episode revealed that Michael Imperioli’s character is in a room with a jacuzzi. Isn’t that a bit dangerous? Laura Dern, who has been confirmed to be voicing his wife in Episode 1’s wild phone call, had better drown her husband in this water.
3. Ethan Spiller: Harper cheats in a different sense and catches Ethan jerking off after his run to porn. They also get into a nasty fight between morning sex and night sex. Harper is fed up with him and his friends. She could easily kill her husband.
4. Tanya McQuoid: Sorry guys – it’s not what we want, but after this episode we got to see Greg murder his new wife for her money.
5. Cameron Babcock: If Harper doesn’t kill her husband, she might be persuaded to kill Cameron, who keeps bugging her with all that shit. Also in this episode, he pretends to be a shark and grabs Harper’s foot underwater. She should have killed him immediately, in self-defense.
https://www.thedailybeast.com/obsessed/the-white-lotus-episode-2-recap-jennifer-coolidges-italian-fantasy-is-amazing-tv?source=articles&via=rss “The White Lotus” Episode 2 Summary